postheadericon Divorce: Tired Of Repeating The Same Old Bad Habits?

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1. Being too needy.

2. Being too controlling.

3. Being too dependent.

4. Being too passive.

5. Being too aggressive.

6. Needing too much attention.

7. Being too afraid to make your own decisions.

8. Being unable to say no when it’s required.

9. Having extra marital affairs.

10. Attracting the wrong kind of partner.

11. Being attracted to the wrong kind of partner.

12. Trying to rescue your partner.

13. Needing validation from your partner.

14. Not being discerning about your choice in partner.

15. Using sex as a way of choosing your partner.

16. Being unable to be honest and open and so on.

It’s interesting how they keep repeating themselves only to be discovered after the fact or not at all.

Where do they come from, why are they inside you and what can you do to get rid of them once and for all?

Well believe it or not they became conditioned or imprinted inside you as a result of your early life experience. They are stored deep in the mind/body as relational habits that most therapies are challenged to unearth.

The reason they continue to remain inside you is because they have come to form what you call your personality. Most therapists believe that personality characteristics are difficult if not impossible to change.

Well with that kind of belief where does that leave you other than stuck with what you’ve got?

Well there is a way to become permanently free of this conditioning.

The conditioning is anchored inside you by deep beliefs that you hold unconsciously. A new modality called the Mind Resonance Process (MRP) has the ability to quickly and easily release these beliefs so that you can then release the offending habit.

When this happens you are left feeling free, unstuck, more aware of all the decisions that you make and with the ability to be in charge of your behavioral choices in ways that you never thought possible before.

This means that you will essentially be growing into a capable and mature adult who is ready for a healthy relationship that will be resilient and fulfilling.

To learn more about MRP or to arrange an introductory consultation kindly visit the web link below.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Life, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Or Join The Next Free Skype Webinar Event

postheadericon 4 Myths That Are Making It Hard For You To Find “Mr. Right”

Are you totally baffled as to why you only seem to attract men who are far from ideal for you? Are you tired of ending up with men who aren’t ready for the same type of relationship you want?

Before you give up on the possibility of ever meeting guys who truly measure up and want what you desire in a relationship, you may want to take a look at how these 4 myths may be adversely affecting your ability to find “Mr. Right”.

1. You Believe you’ll “Just Know” When You Meet The Right Guy
Because we’ve been programmed to believe that we can tell whether or not a guy is right for us based on the way he makes us feel, many women fail to take many other aspects of his character into account when determining if a guy would make a good mate for them.

Although being physically attracted to and enjoying the companionship of a man should definitely be part of the equation, intense chemistry itself shouldn’t be your only reason for choosing to be in a long-term relationship.

While it’s true that infatuation can be the beginning stage of love, and is the first indication that true love could be possible with a particular person, other essential criteria should be considered to determine if a healthy long-term commitment is possible.

Unfortunately, buying into this way of thinking not only causes women to all too often latch onto the first guy who shows the slightest interest and often settling for a man who’s more trouble than his worth; subscribing to the notion that good men are few and far between also causes women to spend way too much time trying to make a relationship work with the wrong guy.

3. You’ve Bought Into The Myth That “All Men Are Dogs”
While believing this stereotype may also provide some temporary comfort regarding your dilemma to land a good man, keep in mind that in order to attract what you really desire, your thoughts need to be consistent with your intentions.

If your intention (to attract a good man) is in direct conflict with what you believe, (that all men only want one thing) for example, then what you believe will actually repel your desire.

Furthermore, it’s important to understand that viewing all men negatively will adversely affect the way you interact with them.

Okay, yes I realize that there are guys who are only after one thing or have ulterior motives for getting involved with women; but the fact is, there are also plenty of great men out there who are genuine, and also looking for something more meaningful than an occasional roll in the hay.

4. You Believe You Can Make A Man with Potential into What You Want”
Buying into this belief often causes women to invest a lot of time and effort in the hopes that with enough support and reassurance, he’ll become the man she really wants him to be.

While there’s nothing wrong with being encouraging and supportive, you want to be careful not to take on the responsibility of getting a man to live up to his potential. That’s his job!

The truth is, trying to make a man into the kind of guy you want is like trying to make an old truck into a luxury car. No matter how much time, effort and money you put into overhauling that old, beat up Ford pickup, it’ll never be a Mercedes Benz.

Subsequently, if you have to put an incessant amount of time and effort into making a guy into a suitable mate, he’s not the right guy for you.

Author’s Bio: 

As a leading dating coach and author “7 Secrets To Getting Dates With Great Guys” and of the up-coming eBook, When Women Wake Up: “The Single Gal’s Guide to Getting Real, Letting Go and Getting a Great Guy,” Lorraine is dedicated to helping you attract your true love in a fun, easy, quick, positive and healthy way.

postheadericon How To Move On Easily And Resiliently From A Recent Divorce

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According to many therapists it’s a normal human experience to go through this so called grieving process. Well let me ask you the following.

How does it feel to you knowing that you have to put months or years of your life on hold in a state of emotional pain before you can once again have a life?

Now notice what you feel around the area of your Heart.

Again as if speaking from your Heart affirm that you do feel these feelings but that they are not desirable to you and that instead you would like to feel differently i.e. hopeful, confident, strong, peaceful uplifted, calm, optimistic, resilient, etc., and then notice what you feel. Once again I think you will start to notice an immediate shift in your feelings.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

postheadericon Dear Dr. Romance: I got very drunk and kissed another man

I’m nearly 30 and have been living with my boyfriend for several years. Last year we encountered a rough patch and I felt neglected and unloved and like all respect had gone from our relationship. Unfortunately during this time I got very drunk and kissed another man. I confessed and times were very difficult for a while but eventually my boyfriend decided to forgive me. The problem is that over a year on and he has not forgiven me. Most days he will refer to what I did and how much I hurt him. I have apologised over and over again and tried to modify my behaviour to show him that I am truly sorry and to try and regain his trust. I don’t want to lose him but it is so hard knowing how much he is still hurting and also it is not easy living with constant reminders that I am the bad guy. I just don’t know what to do for the best.

Dear Reader:

Author’s Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.

postheadericon The Protected Heart

We all protect our heart in one way or another. Maybe we were teased at school, or hurt by someone we once loved. It doesn’t matter how far back the sense of pain goes, it might feel very real today.
It is good to guard your heart against people or situations that might hurt you, but there is a line that you have to watch because you might be over protecting your heart.
If you were hurt by love, chances are you might be afraid to love again, or to love fully again. Everyone can give a certain percentage of themselves, that’s the easy part. If you only show 70% of yourself, and back off the other 30%, you might think you’re doing good, but you’re not. In reality you are not being fair to yourself or your partner. Its equivalent to saying, “you can get close, but not too close.”
Let’s look at things through the 70% rule. Your heart is safely guarded. If anything happens 6 months, 2 years, or 7 years from now, you’re safe. It won’t have a devastating effect on you like it would have if you were giving your whole heart. Sure you’ll be fine if there’s a breakup, but after you’ve had time to sulk because you didn’t give it your “true” all, you will bounce back and carry on. Some will decide if they can truly love someone completely. The 70% person might be easily swayed because they’re not all in, and could be looking for a reason to call it quits more easily. Most importantly, you are ripping yourself off of a life that could be more meaningful and loving. You will always wonder, “what if?” Know yourself and trust your judgment. Not all things are about you…it’s about the other person as well. Please don’t get this confused with someone who does not want to be in a relationship. There are a lot of people in this world who have no desire to be in a relationship for various reasons. They are happy and not to be confused with ones who want a relationship but are not giving it their all.
Now let’s look at the 100% rule. First of all, you are fearless, you dove head and heart first. You are holding nothing back and regardless if things work out or not, you gave it your all. You love the feeling of love and you don’t hold back. Yeah you!
When you fall for someone, sometimes you fall hard, sometimes we hold back and let time take its course. For someone who protects their heart, they have to learn to love and trust love again. The people who are protecting their hearts often times protect others who are dear to them as well. They are very giving, loving souls who can be nurtured past the pain.
It takes two to make it right. If someone gets the feeling that you are holding back, their natural reaction is to hold back as well. This is not a good thing. So, keep loving and trusting in love. One bad apple doesn’t ruin the entire bushel. Sometimes it also forces us to take a good look at ourselves and the choices that we make, and why we make them.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.~ Lao Tzu

Author’s Bio: 

postheadericon Liven Up Your Relationship – Have Fun!

What is the Fun Quotient in your relationship? Couples have the tendency to become complacent in their relationship including the fun aspect of their relating. This is traumatic to the relationship as it stifles its energy flow creating a numb, stuck and disconnect feel and dissatisfied partners.

Are you in need of expanding your Personal Fun Quotient and being more open-minded, flexible, engaging? This is an opportunity for you to stretch yourself and expand your repertoire. This practice will assist you integrate this potentially lost, denied or disowned part of your self. Start becoming whole again and feel your aliveness – engage your potential!

Can you imagine the benefits to your relationship, and your life, when you start doing this? It’s amazing! Now, be cautious at the same time because you might throw your partner off and they might be resistant to the new you. Mindfully share this part of you. There is no need to spook your partner – invite them into the fun!

Enhance your Relationship Fun Quotient. Become partners in crime and make a project of having more fun together! How fun is that?!

Happy Having Fun!!

Author’s Bio: 

About Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT (Metropolitan MFT)
I’m the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC (Metropolitan MFT), a private psychotherapy practice specializing in working with couples. I help couples succeed at their relationship by assisting them get on the same page and deeply understand each other, repair hurts, create intimacy, stay connected, share passion, and tap into their synergy. I specialize in pre-marital, codependence, reactivity / anger, and infidelity work.

postheadericon Relationship Commitment – Is Your “Inner Child” Afraid of Rejection?

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So you’re an adult now and engaged in a relationship but you find yourself at times behaving like that frightened and shy child who is still inside. You find yourself having trouble expressing your true feelings to your partner for fear that he/she will find you undesirable and reject you. This causes you to put on a false persona that you hide behind and which makes you feel inauthentic, alone, empty and like a fraud. What do you do?

Well firstly it’s a matter of recognizing a simple yet challenging fact; that the “shy inner child” is actually not you.

“What do you mean not me?” you ask.

Well simply that. Most individuals seem to accept that they “consist” of several different and separate personality parts that all come together and make up their complete personality. Many therapists have taken this idea to an entirely new level by addressing the “parts” that are immature or suffering in their work.

When I worked as a psychiatrist several years ago I too bought into this philosophy. I found out the hard way however that this idea lead to huge road blocks in the therapy I was then attempting to do with my clients. As I reflected on this I realized that these so called “parts” of one’s personality, which are formed and structured upon negative early memories are in fact aberrant intruders in one’s mind and body and any identification with them only sets insurmountable constraints and limitations on that person’s life and free will choices.

On realizing this I abandoned the entire field of psychotherapy and pursued a different path that revealed the need to “dis-identify” with such intruders. This is done by bringing into question some fundamental beliefs we have about our so called past memories and why we “think”, without question, they are supposedly useful for us to remember.

On doing this one is then able to actually begin to extract/erase both negative memories and immature parts of one’s so called personality from one’s mind/body.

It is this journey, taken only by the courageous few that has led those few to an empowered sense of freedom that is nothing short of divine. To learn more about how you can reclaim total control over your mind, body and life kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

postheadericon Relationships: Why Do Some Women Ignore Their Intuition?

It is often said that women are more intuitive than men, and this could be due to a number of reasons. One reason is because they are often more in touch with their feelings. Men on the other hand, are often more logical and out of touch with how they feel.

Benefits

Having this connection is going to enhance a woman’s life in more ways than one. It won’t matter what area of their life is in question, as each area of their life can be improved through having it.

So this can be: their career; the relationships they have with others; what they need to eat or avoid and where they should or should not go for example. It will also allow them to know how their loved ones are feeling and if they need anything.

Suffering

When one ignores such a powerful source of information, there is the chance that they will suffer in some way. At times this might be minimal, but at other times it could be severe. It can all depend on what it relates to and if there is the chance to do something else once a decision has been made.

Sometimes, it could relate to a decision that is unable to be altered. And at other times, one will still have the opportunity to make another decision.

The Ideal

She may realise that someone is no good for her without needing her intuition. Or it could be a situation where the guy appears to be fine and yet, her intuition is telling her something else. But it won’t matter if appearances are deceiving, as her intuition will be there to make sure it doesn’t go any further.

Protection

Through listening to their intuition or gut, they are stopping themselves from experiencing a lot of drama and hurt. So their intuition is there to protect them and to keep them out of harm’s way.

Problems are going to arise when they completely ignore their intuition. Now, most women are going to have moments where they ignore their intuition, but this is going to be different to when a woman doesn’t listen to it at all.

The Wrong Ones

When this happens, a woman is going to have to rely on how men present themselves – appearances will be all important. And while not every man in the world is out to deceive women, not every man has clear intentions either.

This doesn’t mean their intuition has therefore completely disappeared; as they could be well aware of it. It is informing them of everything they need to know, but that’s as far as it goes. And if they are not listening to their intuition, it means their actions are being defined by something else.

Conflict

If this conflict didn’t exist, it would be easier for them to not only listen to their intuition, but to act upon it. And the reason they are experiencing conflict is likely to be due to what is going on for them emotionally.

Emotions can be extremely powerful; so much of what we do as human beings is defined by how we feel. This means that one’s intuition can easily be overlooked in favour of ones emotional needs.

Emotional Needs

These emotional needs can be a combination of one’s adult needs and the needs that were not met during their childhood. And when it relates to the needs that were not met during their childhood, there is the chance that they will have a lot of power.

So when they meet someone who acts in a certain way, it won’t matter if another part of them knows this is nothing more than a facade, as their emotional neediness will take over.

Here, a woman can have the need to be: held, loved, appreciated, validated and accepted, as well as the need to feel safe and secure.

Awareness

All the time a woman is emotionally needy, there is going to be the chance that she won’t act upon what her intuition is telling her. This means that it will be important for her to process her unmet childhood needs.

As they relate to unmet childhood needs, it will mean that other adults won’t be able to meet all of them. They will have to be grieved, as this is done, one will begin to feel less needy.

And this will make it easier for them to work with their intuition, instead of against it. These needs can be grieved with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author’s Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

postheadericon 3 Most Fear-based and Void of Unconditional Love Questions About A New Lover

Below are three common love life questions that are rooted in an outdated and unhealthy viewpoint of love. Avoid such an outlook and welcome a more rewarding life.

1. “Will it last?” Everyone has heard stories of the couples that have been blissfully married for over 50 years, and many people see the decades-long relationship as the ideal. However, the truth is, from a spiritual point of view, duration is irrelevant. What does matter is what you learn in the relationship, and you can learn some of the most important lessons in relationships of only a month or less.

2. “Is he/she the ‘one’?” Our findings clearly show that there is no “one.” You have many soul mates, and some are more compatible than others. While you may find one or more soul mates exceedingly compatible, you might find others in the future even more compatible and you won’t know who the love of your (this) life is until the last day of your life.

We frequently hear those in their 20s or younger asking if a person is “the one.” Many of them may as well phrase it like this: “I’m nowhere near the mature adult I’m striving to be, but I can’t stand being alone, want someone to hitch my wagon to, and need someone to make me happy.” We have compassion for these people because they’ve been misled by romantic fantasies and don’t yet have the experience to see through them. For those who insist upon hitching their wagon to someone, they’d be better off relaxing the rules, like allowing their partner freedom, so they don’t create the love life misery that’s so common in young relationships.

3. “Can he/she commit?” Interpretation of this is as follows: “Can he/she repress his/her natural urges to have more than one lover for the rest of his/her life, even if I lose interest in sex with him/her? Yes, it’s true that one or both of us might tire of having sex with each other, but I don’t care–I just want to fulfill my selfish demands.”

You likely want someone to commit to you because you are afraid of abandonment. Thus, you want to lock it in. Although this is a natural desire, it’s displaying a lack of unconditional love. It’s not spiritual in the least.

By the way, it’s common for one partner to be sexually frustrated due to the other not wanting sex very often. What makes it worse is that the one who doesn’t want sex refuses to allow her partner to seek other lovers. If you don’t care enough to make sure your partner is sexually satisfied, why would you care if he had sex with someone else?

The Best Approach

What is the best approach to love relationships? In our opinion, you must let the connection be what it is most naturally because each connection is fated to be different. If it’s just friends or a deep, romantic connection or a one-day love affair, let it be that. If it’s a 30-year roller-coaster ride of a relationship, so be it.

The key is accepting what you can’t change, and making the most of what you can, while expressing unconditional love, despite that such a way of living is going against tradition.

Do you want to endure less pain and suffering in your love life? If so, strive to express more unconditional love.

Author’s Bio: 

postheadericon Relationships – Does “The Need to Be Validated by Others” Spell a Healthy Relationship?

There are many unhealthy unconscious reasons that lead individuals to seek out a relationship. These include things such as:

1. The fear of being alone.

2. The fear that one will not make it in life alone.

3. The need to be taken care of.

4. The belief that one needs the help of another to overcome life’s challenges.

5. The need to be and feel loved.

6. The need to be validated

And so on.

In this article I will focus my attention on the last item in this list, “the need to be validated”.

What does it mean to “be” validated? Well it entails the feeling that one is acknowledged, that one feels like they exist, that they are important, that their purpose in being here matters, that they and what they believe matters to someone and therefore themselves.

Why is it so important to be and feel validated? Well if you look at what it feels like not being validated you’ll immediately recognize that it entails a deep feeling of emptiness, feeling invisible and unimportant and with this comes a sense of purposelessness and meaningless that borders on the feeling of annihilation.

Clearly this is a deep and dark chasm that must be filled by something or “someone” if one is to feel able to move on in their lives. In many cases individuals who feel this way will turn to others to get this emptiness filled. What are the consequences of this strategy?

Well first of all it sets up a lopsided relationship based on deep dependency feelings. This is clearly a task that no partner can ever completely fulfill. This causes undue strain on the relationship eventually leading to its demise.

Is there some way in which one can address their own needs for validation and end their suffering once and for all? Yes!

So as you can see such memories, which I call “life energy parasites” deplete your life energy and make you feel the sense of emptiness and annihilation.

By releasing these negative memories from their minds/bodies with a new process called the Mind Resonance Process® (MRP) it is now possible to reclaim one’s life energy thereby extinguishing the feelings of emptiness and hence the need to be validated once and for all.

This will place you on a firmer footing when it comes to relationships. To learn more visit the link below.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)