Relationship Pipe-Line

You are however still carrying the scars that goes with a history of at best a sad relationship and at worst a traumatic one.

Most people believe that they just have to live with this history and move on. Yes, there are some that find themselves entering into therapy to try and understand what happened so that they will not repeat the past.

There are many who also “think” that it’s important to have this unfortunate history of events stored in memory believing that it will somehow help them avoid the same pitfalls in the future.

As a trained psychiatrist, psychotherapist and medical doctor for over 20 years it is my view that neither therapy nor holding onto this history will serve you any useful purpose.

I am so convinced of this that I left the paradigm of psychiatry and psychotherapy altogether 4 years ago. I just wasn’t working and I was looking for a more effective approach to really help individuals in their lives.

I developed a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process (MRP) that effectively helps one completely release negative emotions, beliefs and memories, from the mind and body where they are stored.

You see when a trauma is stored in the mind or body it becomes unconsciously held and this has the effect of not only limiting you emotionally it also acts to parasitically steal your vital life energy.

Another way of saying this is that it is killing you! In other words all the negative experiences that you’ve had in your life act to drain you of your vital life energy. This compromises you both emotionally and physically over time.

To see this for yourself just recall a negative memory even one that you’ve worked on in therapy and notice how you feel as you think about it. Probably not very good.

So you see, even if you never see or think about your Ex ever again the “imprint” of the traumatic life history you had together goes on affecting you in a way that you never even considered. Of course that’s the most optimal scenario isn’t it?

In most cases the trauma remains fresh for years to come. The effects of course being that much more destructive.

If you’d like to know more about MRP or to arrange an free introductory coaching consultation kindly visit the web link below.

Do you know that means you are stuck in a hypnotic child trance like state while trying to take on adult responsibilities such as a relationship?

Do you know that is bound to fail unless you are somehow able to wake up from this trance and remember and re-experience who you truly are, an empowered, mature, capable adult? Want to learn more?

If you still feel needy as a person you probably think that it has something to do with not having been properly nurtured as a child and that the only way to address this is to have those unmet needs fulfilled by a sufficiently caring and loving partner. Although many people buy into this notion few realize that this is a) unhealthy b) unsustainable and c) is not what love is about at all.

There is now an entirely new and empowering perspective on this state of neediness that readily provides a rapid and accessible solution which can begin to make healthy mature relationships feel like more of a real possibility. So what is that perspective?

Employing this metaphor I think you will readily accept that one simple and sure fire way to stop this self destructive behaviour is to delete the hypnotic suggestion. Well in the same way, and this is not a metaphor, a person who has supposed unmet needs from childhood is also the captive of a series of self destructive hypnotic suggestions made by caretakers when the individual was a child.

Children are highly suggestible simply because of the fact that they are small, weak, unable to care for themselves and therefore highly dependent on the care from the adults in their life. Their main aim is to survive hence when the environment around them is negative they must adapt and they do this by taking in and believing whatever negativity is hurled at them.

So if they are say abused, neglected, rejected, etc. they will attempt to adapt by believing that this means they are bad, defective, unlovable, deficient, inadequate, unworthy etc.

These are the “hypnotic” suggestions that leave them in a child like trance that persists well into their chronological adult years.

It is now possible to rapidly delete such suggestions and permanently wake up from these trances. In doing so the individual rapidly is restored to their mature adult authentic self and feels stable, self confident, self sufficient, independent, strong, resilient, self assured, and adult like just to name a few.

As I’m sure you can see this only makes healthy relationships much more possible and sustainable.

So if you would like to learn more about a new coaching process that can help you go from helpless needy child to your true authentic mature adult self kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation that will begin to take you there.

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These programs are so popular and marriage date nights have become so important that many large churches are now hosting “10 Great Dates” programs for their married members.

The “10 Great Dates” book and program offers plenty of date night ideas, but it also has some very specific things each couple must follow for a successful, enriching experience. Here are the fundamental things you need to do:

3 Must Do’s + 2 Don’ts That Can Help You Today

Are you about to be dumped? Your mate/date is losing interest? The signs are: lack of attention in conversation and being together; irritability — refusal to talk about it, no sex or less interest. Here’s what to do if you ARE dumped.

1. DO put it in perspective:
If you’re dumped, it hurts, but count your lucky stars. You don’t have a relationship if the other person’s not really interested.

2. DO understand that there were problems already:
It’s never easy to find out that your relationship, long or short, is over. Once bonded, even if the relationship is terrible, both men and women have trouble breaking away. So if you’re dumped, the other person really wanted out.

3. DON’T idealize a bad relationship:
In counseling people who got dumped, every client realized the warning signs that were ignored early in the relationship. Don’t pick out the few good moments you remember and ignore what wasn’t working.

4. DO try to learn from the experience:
After the initial upset, review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done differently, and what you learned. There’s no need to give yourself a hard time about it, just process the information, so you don’t repeat mistakes.

People pay therapists thousands of dollars to help them identify their blind spots in relationships so that they can stop attracting the “wrong people.” I like to call this, “What’s in My Shadow?”

The Shadow is the part of your subconscious mind that contains characteristics of your personality that you deny in yourself. It contains both positive and negative contents that we project onto others. Projection simply means that we see those positive or negative characteristics in others, while denying them in ourselves. According to Jungian author, Robert A. Johnson, “the most powerful and valuable projection one ever makes is falling in love.”

For better or for worse, we attract and fall in love with people who will carry our Shadow for us, so that we can work out and claim our hidden power. If we fail to do this, fail to claim and integrate our Shadow aspects, we continue to attract the same kind of disappointing romantic partners over and over again. What we are trying to do in this process is to become whole. Again, Robert A. Johnson says, “To honor and accept one’s own shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime.”

Unfortunately, most of us don’t know “What’s in My Shadow?” since it is operating outside of our awareness. Since, I am now only the Elite SoulMate Coach, but also a therapist, so I am going to give you the cheat sheet.

Note in your journal the statements below that apply to you. You can tell by reading each statement. The ones that evoke a strong emotional reaction, especially of denial or repulsion, indicate what is hiding in your Shadow. Each of these can be turned into a tapping statement in order to claim the power hidden in them. This is not an exhaustive list. Once you get the idea, you will notice how and when you project your Shadow in your daily interactions with people. Here we go:

If you attract partners who can’t commit, it’s because you are not truly committed to having what you want.

If you attract partners who suck the life out of you, it’s because you don’t have strong boundaries.

If you attract partners who are controlling, it’s because you are addicted to playing the victim.

If you attract partners who cheat, it’s because you are not willing to be fully present.

If you attract partners who are untrustworthy, it’s because you don’t trust your gut or listen to yourself.

If you attract partners who are fixer-uppers, it’s because you avoid or deny your own needs.

If you attract partners who are needy and clingy, it’s because you discount and deny your own needs.

If you attract partners who are always trying to change you, it’s because you avoid full responsibility for your life.

If you attract partners who only deal in superficialities, it’s because you haven’t plumbed your own depths.

If you attract partners who want to rescue you, it’s because you haven’t rescued yourself.

If you attract partners who are takers, it’s because you are addicted to people-pleasing and blaming.

If you attract partners who criticize and berate you, it’s because you have hidden guilt and are in need of self-forgiveness.

If you attract partners whom you can never please, it’s because you aren’t pleasing yourself.

If you attract partners who want only sex, it’s because you haven’t mastered the art of negotiation.

If you attract partners who are silent, it’s because you are afraid of others’ thoughts, feelings and needs.

If you attract partners who are passive and can’t make decisions, it’s because you have a need to always be in control.

If you attract partners who steal your money and possessions, it’s because you trust untrustworthy people.

If you attract partners who avoid conflicts, it’s because you don’t want to know who they really are or show who you really are.

If you attract partners who are rage-aholics, it’s because you fear and deny your own rage.

If you attract partners who are immature, it’s either because you want to parent them or you want a playmate.

If you attract partners who are cold and unaffectionate, it’s because you don’t allow warmth and closeness.

If you attract partners who are “bad boys,” it’s because you need to rebel.

If you attract partners who are “too good” for you by virtue of some amazing talent or personal strength, it’s because you haven’t developed that in yourself.

If you would like to learn how to claim the power within your Shadow, purchase the full version of my book
How to Manifest Your SoulMate with EFT: Relationship as a Spiritual Path at Amazon.com

**Excerpted and adapted from Chapter 6: Identify the Impediments: Enter the Cave

Try To See Things From Your Ex’s Perspective
The reasons that your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend isn’t talking to you right now escape you, but your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend thinks that this is justified. Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend isn’t going to tell you either why they have suddenly pressed the mute button on your relationship – they aren’t talking to you remember? It is time to do a little digging yourself and come up with the reasons why your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend isn’t talking to you. Only then will you gain the upper hand again, be able to put things right and encourage conversation between you and your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend.

It is easy to misinterpret your ex’s behaviour and get paranoid and hurt because of it. Just because your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend isn’t talking to you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care or that their feelings have disappeared. It is quite the opposite in fact as you will see when you read the rest of this article.

There is no one size fits all solution to your ex’s refusal to speak to you. Every relationship is different and failed for varying reasons. Maybe your break up was filled with animosity because you did something terrible like cheating. In this case you should have expected your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend to ignore you at the very least. Maybe everything was going well post break up but suddenly your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend just disappeared from your life without an explanation. Whatever the case is, there are powerful reasons as to why your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend is behaving this way – understanding these is the key to making your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend open up and want to engage with you again.

Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Talk To You Because They Are Hurt
Has this already crossed your mind? It is a very common reason for why your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend isn’t talking to you. After a break up your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend could be suffering a lot more than you think. Sure they may have said that they were fine with the break up and that they are happy to be single. This isn’t necessarily the case though. Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend will say a lot of things to save further embarrassment and to stop them being vulnerable in front of you. It is all pretense because they don’t want you to feel sorry for them – that would just make them feel even more pathetic.

Stop and think about this for a second. Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend is probably finding the whole break up just as hard as you, if not more. Outwardly they act as if you don’t matter and ignoring you is a great message to send to you. Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend may also be feeling confused about their feelings and are trying to process them without any interference from your end.

The break up and you ended up hurting your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend and consequently they want to remove themselves from you completely. They know that you have the potential to hurt them again so they stay away to protect themselves. Even talking to you will send out huge alarms to your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend because they know that anything you say could plunge them back into despair. It is much safer for them to ignore you completely if they are hurting.

When you call or email your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend during this stage it will only get their guard up and make them paranoid of you playing with their emotions and using mind games to get at them. It is best for you to back off for a while and give them the space that they need to process their feelings towards you. Just because your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend doesn’t want to talk to you, it doesn’t always mean that they are over you or that they hate you, it could just be their only coping mechanism right now – they don’t know what else to do.

The fact that your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend is hurt after a break up is actually a good sign for you if you want to get them back. It shows that they still have feelings for you and are conflicted about what to do for the best. Don’t take their no contact as a sign of disinterest straight away – breaking up is a complicated and confusing process.

Then you need to use contact to your advantage to make your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend actually want to speak to you again. When you use powerful contact with Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend strategies your situation can turn around drastically and your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend could be the one that initiates contact and makes the effort with you.

Ready To Get Back Out There? 3 Must Knows

1. Don’t have sex right away with your new partner.

Keep in mind that, if you have sex right away, it usually brands the relationship as sex -only and you don’t get taken seriously. So, if you want to see if you can manage it, pick someone you’re attracted to, but realize there’s no relationship there. Also, if you are the type who bonds upon having sex, keep that in mind — your partner may not be, so make sure there’s some bonding there before you try it.

2. Take precautions when you do have sex.

3. Deal with the awkwardness of sex with a new partner.

Dear Reader: